‹ Tilbage til podcasts ‹ Biohacking Girls

5/27/2024

218. Dr. Melissa Sonners om å bli forelsket i seg selv igjen, biohacking barn, SNS, lek og gode vaner

Dr. Sonners emphasizes the importance of integrating children into biohacking and self-care routines, promoting mutual growth and well-being.

01:41

Biohacking advocate emphasizes importance of teaching children early health habits to prevent future challenges and improve quality of life.

10:33

Maximize morning alpha brainwave state with red light, meditation or reading for peak performance and calmness throughout the day.

14:02

Creating a morning routine with small steps leads to lasting habits and sets a positive tone for the day.

20:41

"Discover the power of playfulness and its importance for both children and adults, including tips for incorporating play into daily life."

31:33

Prioritizing self-love and self-care through collaboration with The Solution from Oslo Skin Lab for enhanced skin health.

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Hvor mange deodoranter har du? Én. Og parfymer? Én. Hva er det? Det er bare Fredrik og Louisa. De er jo koko, men de har supermange. Hvorfor det? Nei, altså, bytte på litt da. Altså, til hverdags og til fest. Nå får du 30% rabatt på tusenvis av parfymer og deodoranter hos Fredrik og Louisa. Fredrik og Louisa. Parfymeriet med de gode tilbudene. Min misjon er å hjelpe kvinner til å skape dyrkere sammenheng med hverandre, og å fortelle oss at vi lærer barne å gjøre det samme. Hei dere! Velkommen til oss. Vi er Biohacking Girls, din podcast for optimal helse. Vi er to jenter bak rattet. Dette er Monika. Dette er Alette. Vi er biohacking-kolleger og legger sammen våre erfaringer og kunnskap for å inspirere deg til å ta fatt på biohacking for å optimalisere helsen din. Vi følger med hos dette forstørrelsesglas på trender og siste forskning og snakker med verdens toppeksperter innen trening, lifecoaching, helse og biohacking. Er du klar for å starte med konkrete hacks, lytte til din egen kropp og ta fatt på din helsemessige reise sammen med oss? Vi ønsker naturlig tilnærming til helsen vår, og med sverket til både menn og kvinner. Du kan gjerne gi tilbakemeldinger til oss under podcasten her, og slå gjerne til med en god stjerne. Du finner oss også på Instagram og Facebook. Er du klar? Velkommen! Vi har et ønske å begynne å biohacke mye tidligere, for vi ønsker å få med oss barna våre. Vi ønsker at de skal være likeverdige med oss. Ja, det er jo sånn at barna de trenger oss, foreldre og voksne, men vi trenger også de. Så det er synd at så mange av oss må komme helt ned i kjelleren, både fysisk og mentalt, og virkelig gå på en smell før man klarer å ta fast på den store helsereisen. Lærer vi barna våre litt tidligere å si nei, det å sette grenser, det å ta kloke valg i butikken, og få med seg vennene sine også på å gjøre dette mye bedre, så slipper vi å reparere så mye senere. Vi kjenner en kraftfull dame som har barn på en biohacking skole. Her lærer barna å bli sin beste versjon. De lærer å stille spørsmål ved maten og omgivelsene, å bli kritikere av ting som de blir presentert, og ikke minst detektiver på hvordan de har det. De lærer å se seg selv. Altså, den skolen høres bare helt fantastisk ut. Jeg har snakket med alle jeg møter om denne, og vi håper at det kommer til Norge også. Vi digger det. Vi ble kjent med doktor Melissa Saunders denne våren, da hun hadde et innlegg om intusjon på biohacking-viken. Mannen hennes, doktor Jason Saunders, han var også der, og han foreleste for oss om funksjonell medisin. Dette ble et møte for livet. Ikke bare det, men de hadde med seg de tre barna sine de hadde joinet. Dette ledet oss til dagens samtale med Melissa. Hun er et kraftverk av en jente. Hun er utdannet kiropraktor, og hun er bestevenninde med en annen kollega av oss, Dr. Mindy Pelz. Hun er podcaster med showet Be Inspired Mama, som vi anbefaler. Hun driver et skikkelig kult jente-community. Hun vil så gjerne hjelpe kvinner å få dypere forbindelser med seg selv og med omverden. Via møter, via kurs og via en kvinnelig bokklubb. Målet er at alle oss kvinner skal bli ordentlig forelsket i livene våre igjen. Hun vil at vi skal være lekende, og det vil vi også. Og at vi skal føle oss på topp. Vi to er blitt en del av bokklubben. Kanskje du også har lyst til å gjøre det? Bli med oss i dag på en herlig samtale med Melissa med tanker om biohacking, biohacking for barna, sentral nervesystemet, det å bare være, det å være leken, hvordan legge gode vaner, og ikke minst hvordan man får bedre livskvalitet. Velkommen til Biohacking Girls! Hei Melissa, så fint å se deg igjen. Det er ikke så lenge siden du var i Norge. Det var veldig fint å se deg i person. Vi er så spennende for å snakke med deg i dag. Hvordan går det? Det går så fint. Det er så fint å være med dere igjen. Det var en av våre favorittrekkene. Dere og samfunnet du har skapet har gjort det ekstra spesielt. Takk. Hvor fint. Tell oss Melissa, vi vet at du er i Miami. Kjenn om området litt, for å få en følelse av hvor du er nå. My husband, Jason, who you all know, he is the HBOT guy, spoke at your event, which was so sweet to bring us in. I decided to move to Miami almost two years ago now. We have three children, and we had been based in New Jersey for about 14 years. Very happy there. We have a great community and wellness center there. Some of the best biohacking tools that I'm sure we're going to talk about, that we all use. We just got to a point, it especially hit me, I think, We needed a community that was more aligned with our core values for the way that we were raising our children. And we kind of stumbled across serendipitously a school out here that once we heard about it, I mean, I was just like, I have to go see this place. And, you know, long story short, I'm sure we'll get into it. But I walked in this community, this building, and I was like, I don't know how, but this is where we need to be. And so we kind of made a big jump for our family. It's one of those things that's like when you know, you just know, even though you don't know how, you just know. And so we landed out here, like I said, about two years ago. Our kids are all in full-time school. We were homeschooling for a handful of years. And Jason and I are traveling slash working from home, doing a lot of our stuff online and just really, really feeling content and happy and like we're exactly where we're supposed to be, at least for now. So you love the sunshine state and the warm weather? I do. You know, it's really interesting. I was thinking about this last night. So I'm a summer girl for sure. When we came to Norway, it was April, right? So it was like pretty chilly for us. You know, for you guys, it's like spring is coming, the flowers are coming up. We literally had to, you know, Monica was telling you, we don't have winter clothes anymore. But it was a really nice change of weather for us. I will say though, since we have lived in Miami, I have not gotten like a single cold, sore throat, scratchy anything. Like this is, I feel like this temperature is where I'm meant to live. Like the hotter the better for me. I love tropical. So I think we are the same, both of us. So we understand what you're talking about. I never touch wood, get sick when we're traveling to warmer places. Interesting. Why do you think that is? Well, I mean, I feel like it's cheating, really. Like, it's just so easy. So every morning, you know, we all talk about and we all know the importance of morning sunshine. Literally, I can walk outside our door every single morning barefoot and be in sun. It's, you know, the coldest it's here in the winter is like 75 degrees Fahrenheit. So I do feel like it's like cheating. It's just easy. You're not putting on the big jackets. Your immune system isn't challenged by the cold or the stress. You're getting a ton of sunlight, although you guys had a ton of sunlight when we were there in April. I think we all thrive in that temperature and climate. I do agree. And I think it's the inside climate that we have during the winter. We have so much inside, probably 90% of the time. That's what's killing us and making us sick in the wintertime. It's hard to get the sunlight and it's dark. So I think you're absolutely right. The outside living, it's wonderful. Yeah, like I said, it's cheating. I do remember in New Jersey, I was doing the best that I could to replicate what my body craved. Just like you guys, I'm a nature-loving girl. I think we're all kind of built that way. I think the hardest part for me was not getting to go play outside. We might talk about the importance of play later on the podcast. I'm very passionate about that. We always hear about it for children. But play is so important for us as adults. But when it's cold temperatures and it's just pretty yuck, it's like, yes, we can absolutely throw on warmer clothes because it's so important to get outside. I think we all know that. Then there's also the tools that I've grown to love, and I even use them here now in Miami, the red lights, the photon lights, my PMF mat. I just did as much as I could to bring that warmth. and light into our indoors during the cold weather. Great, Melissa. So how has your morning been today? And please share how you tune into yourself when you wake up. Yeah, well, so perfect time to ask that question because so much of what I like to talk about is the reality of doing this as a busy woman, whether you have children or not. So we're currently in a window where Jason is traveling for a week, and it's like Murphy's Law. So I just, you know, I'm bragging on how I haven't gotten sick since we got here. But of course, like the day he leaves, Kaya, our youngest one, seven, gets a cough. And when Kaya gets a cough, nobody in the house sleeps. So I was like, oh, dear God, here it comes, of course. So we're day two. Last night, we all slept. The night before that, though, it was like, remember the newborn phase? Like I was walking around like a zombie yesterday, newborn phase. But last night, we got to bed early. So I'm going to talk about yesterday because yesterday really played into how we sleep, which determines the effectiveness, in my opinion, of the morning. So yesterday, Kaya and I had very little sleep. So I knew, okay, we need to really be intentional about what we do with light so that, you know, we're tired and ready for bed tonight so we all sleep good. So we got as much sunlight as possible yesterday. That plays a major role in, you know, serotonin production, which is what turns over, as you know, into melatonin and makes us sleepy. So as much as like I would have loved to just lay around and watch movies with her and get sleepy. We just went in the backyard. I was like, okay, let's get 10 minutes of sun. Let's take a little rest out here. We read books, things like that. Got to bed early and then I was able to do my morning this morning. Again, making this as easily accessible for a busy woman as possible is – I love to talk about just the power of five minutes. Five minutes in the morning can make such an impact not only in our day but in our lives. It's all about the average of what we do over length of time, so not beating ourselves up if a day or so here and there just doesn't go as intended. But when we wake up in the morning, we are in this magical brainwave state and I'm all about maximizing using that to our advantage. So when we wake up, we're in a brain state called alpha. Alpha brainwaves are what people who meditate for years aspire to get into. We wake up and we're like in them. What happens is for most of us in our busy lives, we instantly pull ourselves right out and we go into what's called beta brainwaves. Beta is where we live most of our day, right? So that's where we're like in the to-dos of our day, got to go here, got to do this, high energy. We think that's peak performance when actually alpha is what creates peak performance. And the magic of alpha is it does it in a very calm, regulated nervous system state. So if we can take just five minutes in alpha, and I'm going to tell you exactly how we do that in a minute, we can completely change the way that our day functions. So peak performance, remember, and most importantly, how our day feels. So this becomes the kind of day where you get to the end and you're like, Well, that felt easy, like I got it all done and I don't even feel like I was running around like I usually normally feel. So the key to staying in alpha is a few things. One, it's our light. So it's controlling our light. So my morning, no matter what I'm doing, no matter how long I'm doing it for, I'm very particular about light sources. So the second we see white light or blue light, we get pulled out of alpha and pushed into beta. Remember, we want to stay in alpha. So the only light around our home in the morning and at night too, because we go from beta into alpha at night, is red or amber light. So Aleta, I see you, I know this isn't a video podcast, but I see you with your magical glasses on. You can often find me wearing those as well in the morning at night if I can't control my environment. So when we travel, I always bring those. But in our morning, I have like, for me, I use a light by Sauna Space. It's a red light. Love that. I have a book light on my books. I know we'll talk about book club later, but I really aim to spend the first five minutes of my day either meditating or reading a good book, the same ones that I suggest in our book club. So in that alpha state, last thing I'll say about it. is that we are essentially super programmable and it's a direct window right into our subconscious. This is when you can manifest. This is when you can visualize the future that you want to create. This is when whatever is going into your brain is what we are going to see as our output. So you think about what most of us do 90% of the time, right? We wake up, what do we do? We grab our digital device. We get ahead of the day, right? We catch up on emails. We catch up on social media. So the problem with that is two things. The light source knocks us straight into beta. And then usually, I don't know about you, but when I go on those things, it doesn't feel so good. And so that feeling is what you're programming into your subconscious. Like this is where we live. This is where we hang out. So the whole goal with that first five minutes is to basically ease into your day. And we all know the first step is the hardest. So most likely, if we spend five minutes doing anything, guess what? That five minutes is going to turn into 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. I mean, this morning, I happened to open my eyes at 5 AM. And I've been craving alone time and so I took it at 5 a.m. and I had an hour to myself to read, to journal, to just like enjoy my coffee in my bed. You know, there's nothing like super – it's not like a high pressure time of, oh my God, I got to do this magical stuff in the morning. It's like just taking time and space to be. Like, even if you just slowly sip your coffee or tea, check done. Like, that's a success. Really? Is five minutes enough? So I think, again, you know, the first step is the hardest. So, so often when we're changing habits, I think we set ourself up for failure by making it too big, right? So you want to start working out, you want to go to the gym, and it's like, all of a sudden, we set these huge goals of, I'm going to go to the gym every day for an hour, for a month, or two months, or three months. How about I'm going to set out my gym clothes the night before to make sure that I go in the morning. And once I have my gym clothes on, I'm going to go for a walk and see how long I stay out there, right? There are so many times when I don't have the energy for a workout or I don't think I have the time for a workout. And guess what? I'm like, let me just go put my running shoes on and get five minutes of fresh hair. All of a sudden, I finished a 20-minute run. Right? So the same thing I think happens with our morning rituals and routines. You know, I think if somebody is very new to this practice, aim for five minutes. You're not going to miss that five minutes of sleep. Pretty soon you're going to see how good this makes you feel. You're going to want to carve out 20 minutes, half hour. I think ideally half hour is really good. There's one of my freebies we can share at the end. It's a half hour morning routine that I literally walk women through. I'm going to have a journal coming out very soon on Amazon that they can get to pair with this challenge. That's 30 minutes. It's a 31-day challenge and it's like journal prompts. It's the neurology behind why we take this time in the morning, literally what's happening in your brain that helps you perform better later on throughout the day. So I would say, you know, ultimately, like half hour is ideal, but take what you can get. Yeah, I think that's a great start. I think five minutes, and especially with the awareness of the brain alpha states that we are in, because if I think about my old career life, when I used to work in television, I rode my bike to the office, I got up like seven, I was at work at maybe nine, and my office time started at nine. I never took the office into my bed with my cell phone, because that was not natural. And that's just 10 years ago. Right. So we are moving our office into our bedroom, into the alpha state. Yeah, you know, we don't have those boundaries anymore. And digital life, I think, has given us so much freedom, right? And also, there are no boundaries. think especially for women, naturally boundaries is something that we have to work a little bit harder at. It's like we have to create those. And then also, you know, for anyone who has children, they are going to be living in a digital world that we can't even fathom right now. And so in the past, you know, I would feel a little bit guilty, like taking this time for myself in the morning if my kids would wake up. And then I did this really powerful reframe where I realized, like, what if they're watching And they're seeing how important this is, that it's a non-negotiable, right? Anyone who has kids, it's like, there's rules that kids know they can kind of push and nudge. Like, mom said this, but if I really push, like, maybe we'll get to get ice cream today. Or if I run out in the street, like, that is a non-negotiable. Like, mom will yell. Mom will say stop. Like, that is not something I can push. So my morning is non-negotiable. I want them to see that it's this important to me. So what does that look like? That looks like if they wake up, I'm not – for a while, I had to set this tone, and now it just is how it is. But they would see that this is a very calm space, right? There's red lights on. I might have some meditative music playing. This isn't the time for sibling fights. This isn't the time to ask what's for breakfast. For a while, I felt like it could seem as though I'm ignoring them, but I definitely wasn't. I invite them in. And they know as soon as I'm done, I'm going to get it all done for them. I'm going to take care of them the way that I always do. But what's so beautiful that's happened is they now love to get up early to have that same slow pace to their morning. They don't want to wake up and rush to get ready for school. They want to wake up, crawl on the couch, snuggle with mama. We're often all in this big, yummy pile. And sometimes they read books, like there's no digital allowed in this space. And then we roll out and we start breakfast. It's this really beautiful ritual that I think will hopefully be one of the most powerful things that I pass down to them as they grow up. It sounds amazing. I want to wake up with you guys. So calm and nice. But Melissa, you have this 31-day free challenge for women to set their morning. Please share what's in this one. And where we can find it. Yeah, maybe you have a link for us. Yeah, so I'll give you guys the link. So that'll be, you know, in description. It's called the free 31 day self with challenge. So this is about spending time with yourself in the morning. I intentionally call it the self with challenge because I want to switch the play on selfish, right? This isn't selfish. This is one of the most selfless things you can do. Because filling our tank is going to give us the ability to take better care of everybody later in the day. And again, whether or not you have children, If you're a woman, you're a caretaker, right? Let's be real. So for 31 days, when women register for this free challenge, they'll get an email. They get the email the night before with their tasks for the next day, right? Because the goal is to not get on your digital device and pull out of alpha in the morning. That email will have three things on it. It will have kind of like a scientific stat on what we're doing and why we're doing it, right? So alpha brainwaves and why they're so powerful. It will have a journal prompt, because I think it's really powerful if we can use this time to write. And then it'll have an inspirational quote. And probably within the next few weeks, I will actually have a journal that is available on Amazon that will have the exact same things on each page. So page one will have day one. page two will be completely different. And so they don't even need to get on the emails at all. They can literally walk through the 31 pages on their journal. Sounds amazing. I will get in and get inspired too. You are one of the best friends of Dr. Mindy Pals and she's been in Norway too. And I kind of feel the vibe from both of you. I can understand that you are good friends. How did you get to meet? Yeah, it's really funny. So actually last month in book club, in my book club, we read a book called The Enneagram Made Easy. I don't know if any of your audience is familiar with the Enneagram, but it's basically nine personality types. And we all are born into one of these personality types. You're born into it. You die as it. You are the same type your entire life. Well, Mindy and I are both sevens. So we have very similar energy. We both are very passionate about what we do. We love people. Sevens are very adventurous. We're very free spirited. We have very childlike energy. One of our biggest core values is freedom. So if a seven feels like they're being put in a box, it's like our demise. So Mindy and I, we recently found out that she was a seven as well. I've known that I've been a seven for probably 20 years. Jason's a seven too. So now it makes sense. We're like, that's why we click so well. That's why we have so much fun hanging out. Mindy and I met about seven years ago. We're both chiropractors and we were in a coaching group together. So we were in a group where we were learning like the most up-to-date fasting and detox protocols. We were learning about ketosis, right? Kind of just as it was, you know, the science was coming out on ketosis and fasting. And then, as you know, Mindy just kind of ran with it and created these amazing protocols for women and our hormones around fasting. How wonderful. And then this leads us to talk about playfulness and be playful. I think I'm a 7 too, because I love to play. Are you a 7 too? Probably not. You could feel I'm a 7 too. I bet you've got some 7, yeah. So why and how can this state of mind be healthy for us to be playful? Yeah, so play is so important, and it's really interesting. You see a lot of science out there about the importance of play for children, right? There's this quote I always see on social media, and I'm completely blanking on the exact number, so forgive me, but it's something like, to learn a new task takes over 200 repetitions, but if children do it in play, it takes minutes. And so there's constantly all this science out there about the power of play for children, you know, a lot of it is around their neural development, and a lot of it is also around calming the nervous system. And a lot of these things, you know, we're just big kids, really. Like, at what point do we switch from kid to adult? I don't really know. Personally, never. But, you know, The power of play does so many things. I'll touch on a couple of the brain things, and then I really want to bring it home to the day-to-day. But so often when we play is one of the only times we're using both sides of our hemispheres of our brain. So our right side of our brain, as most people know, is very creative, artistic. Time doesn't exist as much. Left brain is more like analytical, intellectual. That's more like the do-do-do, whereas the right side is the be. When you're playing, when you're doing something like throwing a ball or riding a bike, we're literally activating a section of the brain called the corpus callosum, which happens when both hemispheres are activated. This makes us feel very calm. So there's a huge calming aspect to play. And I'll talk about how to incorporate play as an adult in a minute. I also have another free giveaway on that. But what play also does is it's often one of the only times that we can get in flow as an adult. So you think about how often during the day we are thinking of multiple things at once, right? Especially as women, we are like the ultimate multitaskers. When we are in flow, flow is basically, it's like a meditative state of only thinking about what's exactly in front of you. Think of when you hear the word flow, just think of it's another word for being present or present time consciousness. So play is a great way to get exactly right into flow. So I think as adults, we forget, right? We forget how to get in flow. Like, okay, great, Melissa, that sounds amazing. I want to be in flow. I want to stop thinking about a million things that I do every day, but how do I do that? Right? We don't know how to play anymore. So I created a free giveaway, we'll link it as well. It's called the Connection Code and it's essentially five ways to make five minutes feel like two hours because you get in flow. So this is five ways for every woman to figure out how to play. So I've got a section on getting in your body, right? So that might mean like working out, getting your heart rate up. I've got a section on getting into your heart. This might mean nurturing yourself. This might mean sitting with a drink. I've got a section about getting in nature, learning a new skill, right? So the idea is when people click on this free link, they will get a video explaining the connection code, how they can make it personal to them. What you start to do is you take each of these sections and think out, okay, what are my favorite ways to feel like I'm getting out of my mind and into my body. So if I've been on emails and Zooms all day, which so many of us do now, you get into that really weird, I don't know, I feel like I don't even know where I am anymore if I spend a full day like that. So how can I spend five minutes getting back in my body? Well, I've got the connection code printed out, and I know I can jump on my trampoline, I can get on my bike. The idea is to have these written out so when you need that break, you know exactly what to do. One of the things I did this year is I decided to take it to the next level. As a mom, we take our kids to all these activities, right? Monica, we took our kids to parkour there in Norway. I just got to a point where I was like sick of sitting on the sidelines with all the moms on our phones and doing emails. I'm like, this does not feel good. I started joining in. They were in gymnastics and I asked their gymnastics coach if he would coach me. So last year at the age of 41, I went back to gymnastics. Last summer, I did the same thing at their skateboarding place. I asked, do you have an adult class? And it's so funny, and we laugh at it. And it is not pretty. I will promise you, it's not pretty. I walk up to that skateboard class with all the 11-year-olds, by the way. And I have every piece of padding on known to me. And it is not at all cute. But what I will tell you is when I am on that board, I can't think about my grocery list. I can't think about what's next. I will fall off the board and get hurt. It forces me into this present time and every time I go, honestly, I dread it. I'm like, oh my gosh, there's so much to do. It's Sunday. I need to meal prep. I hate it. I like it. I don't want to say I hate it, but I get what's it called? Anxiety. It's like anxiety and excitement combined. A few minutes in and you get in that flow state, time expands. You don't worry about time anymore because you're completely out of that mind frame. I feel like a million bucks when I'm done. One of the pieces of the connection code, learning a new skill. I think is really about getting us out of our comfort zone and it doesn't have to be a physical comfort zone, right? I'm not telling these women to go do back handsprings and stuff the way that I did. Like that is in my nature. I crave those things. Not everybody does. But do something that, you know, maybe it's even something as simple as a puzzle, right? If you do a puzzle, that can get you in your heart because it's nurturing and it gets you into present time consciousness. It gets you into flow. But do something where you have to focus and concentrate so much that you can't think about the rest of your tasks that you have to do today. It is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. And I'm telling you, I mean, taking 5, 10 minutes of this literally, like it doesn't even need to be a half hour, will completely change your day. So I've been doing the same and I really feel like I'm alone there with all the parents sitting on the side, but I did skiing. I did all the difficult things like skateboarding. Do you do the parkour as well? Yes, I do the pull-ups. I just hang around. So I think that's great. And you described that you had like a feeling of two hours of spa because you treat yourself. Yeah, and so the reason why I like to have the five categories is because especially, you know, for a woman who still has her cycle, there are going to be different things that you crave different weeks, right? So like right now this week with where I am in my cycle, I would not be wanting to go to gymnastics or to skateboarding. I'd want to do a puzzle. There's times I think we've got to have a variety of options because sometimes we want to push it, I think, based on cortisol levels and wanting to channel them or we're feeling we've got a lot of energy, a lot of great alignment. Then sometimes it's like, you know what? I'm so whipped from the day. I need to do something for myself where I can escape time and this mental chatter that doesn't take a lot of energy. But what we often do, especially in those times of the month for women who have their cycle or just for any woman when we've been pushing, what is it called, burning the candle at both ends, we want something mindless and so what do we do? Again, we go on digital. We scroll mindlessly or we watch Netflix mindlessly. I mean, I do all those things for sure. Like there's a time and a place. But please know that anything on digital world is the complete opposite of mindless. That's why it never feels good when we're done. it is one of the most brain-stimulating things that we can do. So one of the many beautiful aspects of something like the Connection Code is that you're actually giving your body what it's craving in those five minutes, and that's why it feels like two hours. You're giving yourself permission and the more you do it, I think the more you're going to realize. It's like we've all had those days where, oh my God, I'm so tired and there's so much going on. I just wish I could lay in bed five minutes longer. I just wish I could like sit here and finish my tea, but of course I have to run. Well, what if you actually started to do it? What if you just started to listen to that inner voice? I mean, that's a whole other topic on its own. But we have quieted that inner voice that is our greatest guide. As women, it is our God-given right. We are born with that voice, that intuitive guide, and we shut her up every day. So what if we started to actually listen and take action from that voice when she says, oh, I just want that. OK, I'm going to give you that. Like, what if that's self-love? What if that's self-care? Like, nurturing that inner messenger. Okay, we're going to work together now. Like, I'm going to stop not listening to you because I think we're going to do a lot better when we work as a team here. So like, you know, the connection code is just about trusting that and taking action from that place. And the more we do it and the more you see how well it works, that five minutes is like something we can slip in anytime. And if you can't right away, like I promise myself it at the end of the day or at least the next day. We want to tell you about a new collaboration we are so happy to finally share. We have become proud ambassadors of The Solution from Oslo Skin Lab. We like this trend of taking care of the skin from the inside. It feels so right to support the skin with the right food and good supplements. If it's something we as biohackers have been doing for many years, it's supplying with collagen powders. Collaboration couldn't have suited us better. The Solution is a beauty collagen that can show in studies that this powder helps with what I'm hearing here. Less wrinkles, smoother skin with fewer lines, more elasticity and tension in the skin, and less degree of cellulite. Ålala, nå har vi jo brukt det etter en stund og fått snakket med forskeren bak det, og vi er rimelig spente på resultatet. For de utgangspunktene våre var strålende bra, og det håper vi på siden vi er biohackere. Vi har tatt en hudanalyse i forkant, men vi må nok vente litt på neste hudanalyse for å se hva som har skjedd med huden vår. Kollagen er en komponent i hudens bindevev, og viktig for at huden skal holde seg glatt og spennstig. Men fra allerede slutten av 20-årene synker disse nivåene av kollagen i huden vår, og dette vil vi jo gjerne hacke. Ja, for det som ofte glemmes i debatten om kollagen er hvordan kollagene er fremstilt, og lengden på peptidene. Et hvilken som helst kollagen vil ikke hjelpe. Det hjelper ikke å spise proteinrikk mat, selv om det inneholder mye kollagen. Protein i kosten fører ikke til glattere hud. Effekten på hud er vitenskapelig studert, og effektiviteten er kun blitt påvist i studier der man har testet hydrolisert kollagen, altså kollagen som er brutt ned til en helt bestemt peptidlengde. Hydrolisering ser derfor ut å være nødvendig for å få effekt på hudens glatthet. Derfor var det avgjørende for oss å finne et kollagen-tilskudd som tilfredsstiller disse kriteriene, og som har gjennomgått grundig tester. Det er Solution fra Oslo Skin Lab som oppfyller alle disse standardene. Kollagenpeptidene i Dessolution er spesialdesignet for å ligne hudens eget kollagen. Pulver har en neutral smak, og det er ingen tilsetningsstoffer eller registrerte bivirkninger. Og for et enkelt produkt å ta. Sånn skal det gjøres. Én pose om dagen, som du kan blande i hva du vil. Vår favoritt er å helle det i morgenkaffen. Én pose er en fiksferdig dagsdose på 2,5 gram, og dette er samme mengde som er blitt brukt i alle studiene. Og ikke bare det, men den er super lett å åpne. Er du nysgjerrig og har lyst til å prøve dette, så har vi et megatilbud til deg med rabattkoden biohacking60. Da får du 60% avslag på den første manden og 30% etter det. Så gå inn på osloskinlab.no. Jeg føler at jeg har lagt mye tid på dette. Man må gå inn i 40- og 50-tallet før man begynner å fixere det. Vi må snakke litt om barn, for dine barn er virkelig biohacking-barn. De går til skolen der. Hvis vi kan hjelpe dem å forhindre å gjøre dette stillheten, stoppe å høre til seg selv, vil vi gjøre dem et sted. Hvordan vil dette fungere, tror du? Ja, jeg tror at vi er veldig lykkelig fordi skolen vi går til, og jeg håper å se flere skoler på den måten, og jeg vil snakke om skolen for en minute, og så snakker jeg om hvordan vi kan bringe den inn i hjemmet for dem som ikke har tilgang til det. Skolen vi valgte å ha barnet i heter Centner Academy, og det er veldig mye hva som kalles en kjent skole. Så deres fodd er ekstremt rart. Jeg kan ikke sende inn noen fodd, for de vil bare at fodden skal være konsistent for hver barn. Så alle foddene der er ikke GMO, ikke kjelder, glutenfri, sukkerfri. Det som jeg elsket, er at de snakker mye om å være konsens. Hva betyr det? At hver lærere, i hver interaksjon med barnet, er først lært, og det er i deres utvikling, hvordan man kan kontrollere seg selv før man sammenhenger med barnet. Vi har alle vært der. Jeg lærer så mye om dette som mor, fordi det er tider hvor jeg er i denne veien. av gå, gå, gå, og barnet er på vei til noe eller har nødvendigvis noe, og det er svært å oppføre. Så det handler om rådene til å hjelpe å brygge den gapen, for å få deg inn i kroppen, for å få deg inn i den nødvendige momenten, før du sammenhenger med barnet. For det som skjer når vi kan gjøre det, er at alt tar seg selv. Som mor, vet vi ikke hva vi skal gjøre eller hvordan vi skal gjøre det når de har sværhet. Når vi er i nødvendig tid, må vi ikke være bange for det. Det er mitt take på det. For eksempel, den andre dagen jeg kom fra en kjøring, og jeg var stresset over timingen, og jeg måtte lage middag, og Jason var hjemme, og vår 7-årige Kaya fikk opp på det. Hun bra meg til kjøkkenet, satte meg ned, og såg i øynene mine. Du vet når noen er med deg, og de drar deg inn i den nødvendige momenten. Hun drar meg inn, for dette er det hun lærer. Hun sier, mamma, jeg vet du er stresset. Vi trenger bare å breve. La oss bare breve sammen i en minutt. Hun har sett det, og hun har de rådene. De lærer disse tingene fra ungdom, som er så fint. De lærer å regulere deres nervosystem. Jeg lærer det i 40-tallet. De lærer det i kindergarten og fredagskolen. Ikke alle har tilgang til en skole som denne, og jeg tror det er mange fantastiske plattformer der. Kjent utvikling er det de lærer i skolen. Kjent utvikling er en annen bevegelse. De har mange sånne spørsmål for oss å høre på. Mitt støttepunkt og det jeg lærer på mine plattformer, er at desto mer vi trener kroppen til å kjenne dette røde stedet, desto mer kan vi oppføre det når vi har behov for det. Og hør på, jeg strunger fortsatt. Jeg vil ikke sitte her og pretende at jeg ikke støtter meg, eller at jeg ikke blir stresset ut, eller at jeg ikke bringer stressen min inn i hjemmet. But I think what's also key is giving ourselves forgiveness and letting our kids witness our process. So again, Kaya is very tuned in. She's my youngest one. She's very empathetic. I mean, female, right? Like I think we kind of come here with that. But if I act in a way that is not in alignment with the parent that I want to be with them, because I'm human. I will say things like, whew, God, that – I mean, that just kind of flew out of me. Let me take a minute and reset myself and then I'll be with you guys. Like I don't like how that came out and I don't like how that felt because they're going to experience the same challenges, right? So to watch me like correcting myself I think is huge. It's not about not having it happen. It's what do we do with it when it does. The other big thing I'll do is, especially for my Kaya, I will see her emotions and behavior change if she can feel that I'm stressed. So I literally will give her a visual. Like if I catch it happening, I'm like, whoop, that's mine. You just took that. I'm going to take it back. And it's almost like a hanger. Like I'm going to take it out of your closet and put that back on me. And I'll ask her, I'm like, is it gone yet? Do you need to blow? And often she'll like look at me and blow, right? There you go. Take the rest of it. So it's these tools, right? It's real life tools. I don't know. I think we're always learning. We're always growing. It's a practice. But that's where I think the morning and evening five minutes is so powerful. Joe Dispenza, if anyone's listened to him, he talks about we crave what's familiar. And so for me, like the more I was studying under Joe Dispenza a few years ago, I started to realize, and it was really hard for me to notice this in myself, to be honest, is that I was addicted to stress. And so what that looked like for me is I'd wake up, you know, we all wake up kind of fuzzy. It's that alpha state. And that felt weird to me. That felt like I was missing something. I wasn't ready for the day. So I would slam caffeine and then I'd get on emails. And then as soon as I found something stressful, it's like, oh, I feel normal. This is what my day is supposed to feel like. And I think a lot of us, if we can really go inward enough and be honest with ourselves, I think a lot of us are addicted to anxiety or chaos or stress. And so the more we can make a regulated state, a calm state, a balanced state, a conscious state become familiar, the easier we're going to access it later. So for me, busy day, just like all of you listening, the only opportunity that I'm guaranteed to have is first thing in the morning if I can get up before the world's awake. So I take that time to teach my body this is what I want to be able to find later. So it's like the nothingness. It's like the less I do, the better. Sometimes I literally, like this morning, the first few minutes, I just stared out my window and sometimes I close my eyes. Like I sit up so I don't fall back asleep. Yeah, that's a good point. The less you do, the better. So later, when I'm cooking dinner and they're fighting and there's homework and something spills and blah, blah, blah, and my body goes high, I can find that place that I sat in this morning because it's familiar. What we make familiar, we will find. Okay. So you do this in the morning and then you kind of just catch yourself during the day to find it again? Yeah. best to, right? The goal is to slip out less and less. Miami traffic, someone cuts me off. It's like, oh, my heart rate goes up. We have a physiological reaction for survival that if something stresses us out, there's two pieces of the brain activated, our amygdala, our emotional center, and our prefrontal or frontal cortex that actually tells us this is safe or this is not safe. But what happens when we're constantly under chronic stress, which we are, that person cuts you off. It's supposed to be a quick reaction and then our prefrontal cortex and frontal cortex are supposed to take back over, kind of like drop it. We get stuck in what's called amygdala hijack and we ride out that state. So basically my goal is to train my body to be able to release that stress. It's like, okay, that car in front of me did not cut me off. I'm okay. I don't need to say all the mean names that I want to say about that person in my head right now. I can just get back into present time and, hmm, what songs on the radio? What else do I see? What do I smell? What am I grateful for? just teaching your body to reset. Great. Let's go back to the school a little bit. What are the learning skills and how do they master all the different subjects they need to learn at the school? Are they well, yeah? Yeah, they have regular academic classes like any other school. I mean, they've got the science, math, languages. Our kids are in two and three languages. In addition, our kids have sound bowl healing. They have meditation. I think they're like a once a week kind of class. It's like traditional academic schooling. It's just what you see is the values woven through when you walk in the building. You would never really run into a teacher that you're like, God, what's wrong with her? Like, is she having a bad day? And we all have them, but you just don't, you don't witness that part. You don't see it because I think they're taught. to reset in such a way that's one of the most important tasks because they're there influencing the children. But the children, they must be really good academically since they're in this environment with less stress and everything. It's really biohacking your kids when you give them this gift. Yeah. Well, think about how food affects our ability to focus and concentrate. and think about how stress, like you just said, affects our ability to focus and concentrate. There's no Wi-Fi at the school. I mean, the walls, the paint, everything is no toxins and EMF protected. We all know how we feel when we're traveling and not sleeping and not eating well and maybe bombarded with EMF versus when we're in an environment that we can control the way that we want to control. For me, part of the homeschooling journey was that I wasn't ever in a place that I felt safe handing my kids off to an environment that I couldn't control in the way that was important to our core values. That's just our family, right? So here they're getting all that, right? So academics are strong. I absolutely, you know, that's important to me. And really, honestly, for me and my core values for our family, I care more about their nervous system regulation and these things that they're going to need later on throughout the rest of their life. Like if, if one of my kids gets a B or a C in a language here or there, For me, personally, that's not a make or break issue. The academics there are strong. I have realized there are parents that want their kids to have a lot of homework and they want them challenged in a way that, for me, is just not what I want. I want to have dinner conversations with my children. I want to go for a bike ride to the park and play. We're in uncharted territory and we don't know what this world is going to do to our kids. I don't mean that to be like Debbie Downer, but they're just exposed to so much more than we were. I want to create a childhood like we all got to have for our kids. I want to be able to just randomly decide to go play at the park. They're so overscheduled as it is that that to me is what's so important. That's something that I really love about the community that we're in is that we can have that freedom and flexibility. But your kids, they do game and they have cell phones, so they have like a time for that too? So we have a 13, an 11 and a seven year old. Our 13 year old has a cell phone. If I could go back in time, I would not have done it. We incorporated it when we were still in New Jersey and I felt like he was just kind of isolated through the pandemic and we were homeschooling. And so it was like his way to, you know, be with friends. We do have strict rules on it. Like there's certain times he doesn't get it. It's definitely not in his room at night. We turn it off a lot of the time. Like it's mainly to just make meetups and stuff like that or to call family. He loves to game. He would game all day if I let him, honestly. And so there's been, you know, there's like that. Inner battle as a mom, I think, and for me what lands best is like balance and not beating myself up about it. It's important to him, so I want to know about it rather than just assuming it's bad. Like we grew up on video games and I remember my mom coming in and playing with us and it like cracked us up. I sit by him sometimes. I'm like, what is this game and why do you like it? What are you learning? It's really interesting to hear the things that he says. I think in our heads, it's like they're violent and it disconnects them and blah, blah, blah. I mean, there are those concerns, right? It's dopamine for sure. It's major dopamine hits. I explore that with them. But we just do our best to limit it and to be realistic. I think a lot of parents probably do a lot less screen time than I do. And there's probably parents out there that do a lot more. And I'm not into the judgment. I think we all do the best that we can with what works in our family. But one of the things I've implemented that I really like is I told them what I want before they go on screens. I wrote out the word screen on a board, and I'm like, let's think of a word for each of these letters. So we came up with the first three. And I was like, I want sunlight, so you go outside. And I want chores done. And I want some relationship time. So if it's Saturday morning and you guys just, you know, you want a low-key day, I get it. Low-key morning, whatever. Like let's first, you know, go out in the front yard, get some sunlight, get your chores done, hang out on the couch with me. Let's like have a chat and a catch up and talk about our weekend. And then if you go on, like go for it. And it changes it, right? I think it changes that like wake up reaction hop on the screens that I honestly have had to work really hard to break for myself. And so I just want to create that space. for them. Thank you for sharing. And we really hope that many teachers are listening here to this conversation too, so they can get inspired wherever they are schooling or parents too, that have kids at school. Let's move over to books, Melissa. We know that you're a big reader. Why do you think books are so good for us? I love books. I love, love books. I remember a time when I was in high school and I was going through a really difficult time, and we had this mall that just opened up the street from us, and I wandered into a Barnes & Noble, and it's one of our biggest bookstores here in the US. And I just like sauntered into the self-help section, which I really wish they would rename that section, and I sat there and it was like I found my friends. Like I feel like if you're surrounded by books, you can't be lonely. I light up when I talk about books because you literally open a book and I wish they would call that section literature of possibility because you open that book and like the things that you can change in your life that you can read in that book are so incredible. One of my favorite things, if I go to someone's house, I did this at your house, Monica, I was like snooping at your books. What are they into? I want to pick their brains on what they love. You can learn so much about someone. I love books. I think as a busy mom, as a busy woman, it's something for so long that fell out of my radar in my life. Again, our kids are older now. I can actually sit with a book on the plane with them. I personally just find that there's so many times in my life, no matter what I'm working on for myself, that I get stuck in ruts. I have those days. You know, when I can make the conscious choice to choose a book instead of getting on social media or something, like it just makes me feel so much better about my life and I get inspired and elevated. You know, again, the power of like reading 5, 10 minutes a day, you can go through a book a month. You think about if you read transformational nonfiction books and if you read one of those a month, you think about what you're taking from that into your daily life that you're changing. And you think about over a year if you read 12 books. So we are literally, for our survival, we are hardwired for negativity. It's for our survival. So if you get nine compliments and one put down, you will remember that one put down, not because you're hard on yourself, but because that is our neurology. The point of that was to keep us safe. So if we, back when we were hunters-gatherers, you know, found a berry bush that was super delicious, as much as we wanted the berries, we had to fear the lion, right, that could kill us. So it was more important for us to remember the lion than the berries. And so I say all that to say, you know, it's so important to surround ourself with positive information and inspirational information, whether it be podcasts or books. I just tend to love holding a book. You know, so getting like little hits of it each day can just change our lens on what we're seeing in the world, right? You think about I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but if you're someone who's looking for a new car and you want a white car, and all of a sudden you see white cars everywhere, it's because you're thinking about a white car. Our brains are wired for negativity, like I said, and they're also wired for survival. And so especially when we're in a chronic state of stress or fight or flight, which so many of us live, we have these narrow scopes of vision where all we're seeing is our to-do list and our tasks, and we're missing this whole outside world. Manifestation, vision boards, all those things work. because you're literally pairing a vision of what you want with how you will feel. And when you start to do that, you see. You see opportunity around you. So the minute you're looking for something, you're going to see it. So if you start your day with some inspirational information in a book or in a podcast, you're going to see more of that in the world, right? And I think, you know, why not put some of that in? And then lastly, because I just – I love people understanding the power of the brain and how this applies to everything we're talking about. One of the best things you can do to calm a brain, so I used to work with kids in the office with sensory development disorders or like ADHD or ADD. And a brain-based activity that I would do for like a functional neurology exercise for them is it's called pursuits and circades with their eyes. And so that just means tracking your eyes one way slow, kind of like a typewriter moves, and then quickly the other way, right? So think of like an old typewriter and how it tick, tick, ticks to the side and then you push it. So you can do that with visual therapy. And when you do it with your eyes going slow to the right and then quickly to the left, you also activate that part of the brain that we talked about with like bike riding and play that calms the nervous system. Well, look what happens when you read across a page. It's literally that exact same movement. There's just something to be said about that visual aspect of reading a book and helping us get into that regulated nervous system state. My husband, Jason, he's very educated, a very smart man, does not like to read. I think, honestly, he struggles to read in a book. So he does audiobooks and he loves them. I think, you know, there's a lot of times too in my life where I need to move my body in order to like really hear and incorporate the information that I'm reading. So audiobooks are fantastic too. But, you know, there's so many – there's a whole world out there of books. So we do once a month in our book club I recommend. You know, one of these transformational nonfiction books, we read them together in our community. We play and chat in our private Facebook community on them. We have a once a month meetup where we answer all the questions, talk about all the things. I really lead the group. And then anyone that has like questions or comments can chime in. But it's kind of like they're sitting in on like a podcast that I'm videoing about my takeaways as a woman on the book. So we have joined your book club. Is there room for more girls here in Norway? Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I actually, I'm very, very much of a vision girl and I get very excited about community. I think we all need community right now as women. We need community. We need our girls. So right now we are at about 200 women in this online book club. I want to keep growing it and keep growing it. I really have a vision of a whole forum that I want to build out. I want this to be an online place where women can go and, again, create those deeper connections with ourselves and one another. When we know why we do what we do, I think we stop thinking about ourselves as weird or quirky. I think we stop trying to wear all the masks that we wear. I don't know if you guys have done this, but I used to do this all the time. I'd walk into a room or a social situation and it's like, who do I need to be here? Who am I going to show up as in this room? Am I going to be social? Am I going to be quiet? Am I going to be funny? We put on these masks. And now, with these books that I've read over the last two years, I'm so inspired and empowered to just be me. And to instead, when I walk into a room, ask myself that question, like, what is it that I need out of this interaction? And the more we learn about ourselves, and that's a big part of my goal with this book club, is to share these books that help you understand yourself, how you're different than Oleta is, and how I'm different. Because when we can show up in the world that way, We show up with our unique gifts. We show up as our authentic self. Like we're all so incredible if we would just be who we came here to be, right? It's like our life's mission is to get back to our true self. And what if we just like fast track that in this online community? So that's the goal. That's the mission. So imagine you created this book movement instead of picking up your phone whenever you're at the grocery store. Can you imagine everybody picking up a book, waiting to pay their groceries? How funny would that be? So I had to go to the DMV here in Miami last year. And I don't go anywhere without a book because you start to realize how much time you have to actually read, right? The second I talk about books, everyone's like, I don't have time to read. Guess what? Put it in your bag when you go to pick up your kids. And when you're stuck in that pickup line, you have something to look at. So I went to the DMV, which I thought was going to be two hours. Do you guys have the DMV? Do you know what that is? Okay. It's horrible, right? It's a horrible experience. So I went to the DMV, thought it was going to be two hours. Eleven hours. I was there for eleven hours. Like insane. Insane. I was like, who is watching me? Anyway, I brought a book. I read an entire book there. So whereas everyone else is freaking out, I'm just sitting there with my book. And the amount of questions I got and like the circle that gathered around me, they're like, oh my God, people don't do that anymore. What are you reading about? And you know, these great discussions. It's yeah. And last thing, sorry, a book, I'm telling you is the gateway tool to connection with ourself, because it stops you from checking out on that phone. And instead you check in. It's so funny that you talk about this, because my son, he is dyslexic. So he could not read while he was growing up. And now he's doing the same thing. He always has a book. in his bag when he is on the bus or the tram, he picks up the book instead of the telephone. Amazing. Yeah, it's such a gift, you know, and also, I love the brain, right? So just touching on your son, you know, the labels that we come here with or that we get, you know, diagnosed with like, People are so incredible and I think, you know, again, this mission of like tuning in and learning about yourself, like learning why do I learn that way? Why does my brain work that way? It starts to see – it starts to help us see ourselves as whole. And not broken or, you know, dysfunctional. Not just – I don't just mean people that have a diagnosis, but I think in general, right? Like we all think there's something wrong with us. We're all constantly like feeling lost or confused or like we have to hide who we really are. I think these books, like the right books change that. So what would be the next book, Melissa, what is on your list? We don't announce it until the zoom call. But I'm thinking so for summer, for summer, I want to be really intentional about choosing like some kind of light easy books, like some beach reads. So I'm, I'll tell you what I'm looking at. I'm looking at the four agreements. I'm looking at inward by young Pablo. I'm looking at all the right pieces, which is kind of the feminine version of Inward. And I also, you know, I love this book called The Artist's Way. That's a bit bigger of a read. I don't know if you guys have read that, but that is one of my all-time favorite books that got me back connected with play. But I might bump that one to further in the fall. You know, I want to have books that are really light for people to travel with for anyone traveling in the summer. But I will announce the next book on June 7th. Wonderful. This has been great. Let's finish up with some good habits. Why is good habits good for us? Ooh, good question. So many weird places I could go with that. Well, why do you guys think? I'm going to flip that one. Why do you think good habits are important? It's security or something that you repeat that makes you feel calmer in a way. And you don't have to think about it. It's just something you do. I love that. Yeah. I think when, yeah, I love that. I'm going to play off that one a little. When it becomes a habit, it, you know, again, I love the brain, right? So we've got all these beautiful neural pathways. The more we do something, the stronger the pathway is, meaning the easier the movement or ritual becomes. And when we're first changing a habit, it feels unfamiliar, right? So we can go back to like we avoid the unfamiliar and we instantly go to the familiar. But the more we do it, you know, we can change our brain very easily at any age. So the more we do it, we literally form new neural pathways and networks and then it becomes like second nature. One of the recent books we read in Book Club was Atomic Habits. And I love this one concept that James Clear, the author, said, and he talked about, you know, when you're making habits, rather than focusing on the habit, focus on the identity. And so he had this amazing example. He's like, think about if you were to hand two people in front of you a cigarette. And one of the people said, no thanks, I'm trying to quit. That's trying to establish a habit. Monica, you know this one? And the other one said, no thanks, I'm not a smoker. Which one of those is more powerful? The second one, right? You're like, no matter what, that person is not taking the cigarette. Whereas the other one, I could probably, if I wanted to be really mean, I could probably be like, oh, come on. Just one. It won't hurt. It's changing our identity. Not changing, but really focusing on who is it that you want to be. There's this whole be, do, have. We're constantly like if I have the house, then I'm going to do all the things I want and then I'm going to be happy. When really the most successful people know the magic lies in looking at life with be, do, have. What do I need to change in my life so I can be happy, right? It's inside out, it's not what's outside of you. It's again, sitting in the morning. And then you'll do the things that a happy person does and then you're gonna have a happy life, right? So I think anything around habits, I think it's really important to think about and talk about identity. But also we can have bad habits and how do you start to change those then with small steps? Hmm, that's a good question. Yeah, like the smoker when they want to quit. Yeah, yeah, well, I'll do one. So like, for me, I wanted to change my relationship with alcohol last year. So I'm not a huge drinker. But I just noticed that, you know, when I would be cooking dinner, I would have a glass of wine. And I could tell that the glass of wine was like a checkout for me. And so what I needed to do in order to change that habit is I needed to really get clear on like why I wanted to change and I needed to leverage like who and what I was hurting in the process and how it would feel to get over it. Because what I knew for me, it was crazy too, I didn't realize how strong of a habit it was until I did like a 21 day challenge. I needed to realize, like, when I went to pour the wine, it had become a ritual, right? Again, it was like one glass of wine, but when I went to pour the wine, like, what was I going to do? What was I going to anchor into to change that for me? So I think, this is just me personally, if this works for anyone else, but I'm gonna use it in that scenario. I think what's important in changing habits is our why, because that helps you get through the tough moments, which I definitely had some. It was very, it was bizarre, right? I was like, oh, wow, this has a big handle on me. So it's getting clear on your why. Why is this important to you so when it's tricky that you can get through? I think for me like I needed to create a bridge so I got some really fun drinks that didn't have alcohol in them just to switch that ritual, right? So I wasn't just like depriving myself. I don't know if it's my 7 Enneagram, but the second you tell me you can't have something, I can't have something, probably is my 7 because I want freedom to choose. I'm going to want it more. So I went and got, you know, thank God now there's all these like non-alcoholic cute fun drinks. So I got like a 12 pack and put them in the fridge. I think it was called Moment. So, you know, I anchored the habit with another habit to help the switch over for me. Yeah, it was super helpful. And what else? I think, you know, keeping your eye on the prize, right? So what's it going to feel like when you actually accomplish this? How good is it going to feel? Whether it's like starting to go to the gym or, you know, whatever the thing you're looking to accomplish is, like, how proud am I going to feel to do that? What am I going to feel like at the end of the night? What I realized is I would have this glass of wine and I felt like it calmed me, but in reality it didn't. What happened for me an hour later when stuff was crazy with cleaning up the kitchen, it made my stress go through the roof. So when I would think of like, okay, God, it would just feel so good for this minute. I'm like, okay, well, what is it going to feel like the rest of the day? It's not going to feel good. I don't like waking up feeling fuzzy, you know, even one drink now will do that to me. So I think, you know, leveraging like the bad with the good. That's a really long answer. I hope that's helpful. It's very helpful. How long do you think it takes to change that habit? What about you? Well, I think we can change our habits in an instant, really. And then I think some habits are perhaps harder to break because we make them that way. But we're very powerful. We're very powerful, so you think about, I mean, if someone, this sounds horrible, but if someone put a gun to your head and said, if you have one more glass of wine, you're dead. Okay, done. Never having wine again. Right? I think we can change habits in an instant. Do I work that way? Not all the time. But I think it's just how bad you want it. If we really want something, we go out there and we get it. Thank you very much. How does the rest of your day look like now, Melissa? Where are you heading? Yeah, I've got some work meetings. And then I'm not working out today, unfortunately. It's just not fitting in my day. So I'll probably hop on the bike with Kaya later tonight before dinner. The kids have some – oh, actually, this is something I started doing. So the five minutes, right? Yeah. So on Wednesdays, two of my kids go for math support and they're in the same place and they're there for an hour. And so last time I was there, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to wear my running shoes and I'm going to run for five minutes. And I went out for five minutes and I ran for – I think it was like half hour while they were there. So I totally forgot. I'm going to do that again. I'm going to pack my shoes. And I'm going to run while they're at the tutor place. That's wonderful. You fit in whatever you needed today. Just changing your thoughts a little bit and talking about it. Yeah. Good. Yeah. So what I used to do there is I brought my computer. I mean, how many places in our life do we do this? Like you said, Monica, at the beginning, like we bring our office into our lives all the time. I was bringing my computer and I'm catching up on all the things that you never, ever actually catch up on. I was like, screw it. I'm taking back my life. Yes. About 5 o'clock, I could be done for the day and I'm going to go for a little run. Then, oh my gosh, dinner in our home just is so fun. I have so much energy. You've got those natural endorphins. That's the rest of my day. How about you guys? Well, it's getting late, it's not gonna be dark, it's bright, but we're gonna go outside and enjoy the nice weather a little bit. Maybe listen to your podcast, we didn't get to talk about your podcast either, Be Inspired Mama. Yes, yes, so that's, it's on the podcast, I actually do videos as well, so the same audios that are on the podcast are available on YouTube. That goes out right now every other week. It's called Be Inspired Mama, M-A-M-A. And then probably in the fall, we'll switch to every week. But yeah, let me know if you guys get to tune in. And then I hope whatever you do tonight that you have some wind down time. One of the things I've done is I create a limit. So usually like around 7.30 or 8 o'clock, I kind of log off of everything. I don't know. I found that it really revs my nervous system in a way that doesn't work so well and maybe it's because it's also a time where I really, in my heart, want to be with my children. But yeah, I think logging off and closing our office at night, not having night hours is really important and using that time for connection, whether or not you have kids, I think it's a great time to connect with ourselves, right? Take a bath, read a book, lay on the couch, just ditch the digital. We're not effective then anyway. We're switching from that beta do-do-do brainwave into alpha. Although you can get stuff done in alpha, the magic of alpha is intuition and creativity and flow and ease and relax. to kind of switch off all the tasks of the day and start to get into that yummy state before you go to bed is so key and so beneficial. So I hope you guys have some of that tonight. Well, definitely. I'm definitely going to take the power back. And I was really inspired by you now, Melissa. Thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge. Thank you. You're welcome. Do you guys, last question I have for you, do you struggle? So if I do like podcasting late or if I'm on digital for something like that late, I have found, I don't know if you've experienced this, it's harder for me to switch off. And so I actually find the water element helps so much. Like I will completely drench in the shower and I feel like it switches whatever that is about digital world and helps me wind down. Do you guys struggle with that? Yes, I love to wash it off too. I really like to clean it off. I need to walk. I need to walk outside. Excellent. It must be like an earth element thing, right? Water, nature, fire would even be nice. Sauna. I think so. That's you debalance or you restructure your nervous system when you when you do something completely different, because you get kind of high talking like this in the evening. Yeah. Yeah. So we need to like balancing it, lowering. Yeah, for sure. Good. Well, I mean, this was such a pleasure. I love the community you guys have created. And I'm excited. I get to see you guys in a few weeks in London. Yes, we're gonna meet in London. And you're gonna are you gonna speak there too? Or just Jason? Just Jason. I'll be there with the kids. Okay, we'll see you there. Good. Yeah. Okay, Melissa. Thank you so much. Have a great day. Have a great day. Thank you. We would like to thank our sponsor for the episodes in May, Skinome. Their skin care series contains natural ingredients that are experienced as food and clean nutrition for the skin. Maybe you have heard about the bacteria Lactobacillus rauteri, which originally comes from breast milk. This is something we can now get in the skin care series from Skinome. Fantastic health-giving effects on the skin since these bacteria in the stem seem anti-inflammatory. We biohackers love to work by reducing both inflammation and irritation. And we like that our body recognizes what we are dealing with every day, that we play along, just as nature plays along with us and with our health. By using products with this bacterium, you will get a good dose of living bacteria that not only feel good, but also moisturize, reduce redness and strengthen the skin barrier. And I really like the smell. It feels so healthy. And after just three weeks of use, clinical studies show more moisture, better skin texture, evolution of fine lines and wrinkles, and less pores. So, there are good reasons to include Skinome in your biohacking every day with a healthy skin microbiome. More glow, better elasticity, and resistance to mild environmental toxins. If you'd like to use our offer, go to www.skinome.com and use the discount code BIOHACKINGIRLS20 with our Stobox. Melissa, she is a real lady, and this was really a conversation I needed, and I was so inspired by the way she speaks and her calmness. She is absolutely beautiful. I often look at her stories on Instagram, and I get a little... Not in love, but you know, overwhelmed, because she shares so much good that I want to have a part of. So she invites me into this universe that I really want and need to have more of in my life. And you can say it like this, when she lives in the solar system state in Miami over there, or Florida, it's a little easier to get that playfulness than than to do this all year round in a country where it's dark and sad and good and slippery on the roads. So I think it's a bit of a cheating, but at the same time we need each other. I think we need to say these inspiring words and inspiring events and activities that we can do to make it better, to come back to ourselves and make good choices. I completely agree, and we were so lucky when we were with her, and just being in her presence, it felt very good. I don't know, even my husband, who I feel is a bit like that outside on such things, noticed that there was good energy here. And then I thought it was very nice of her to share so much personally. It's easier to understand when you can talk about your own experiences and things. It's much easier to get to know each other again, and I like that she was very eager to share. I think it's the best thing you can do when you're starting a channel to inspire changes in life. Everything from building habits and starting bad habits with good ones, but also to just publish a book when you're in line at the store. I think it looks like a very pussy commercial picture. I just laugh when I think about things. If everyone picked up that book and read it. you're waiting in line at the menu, for example, and all your books are in line instead of your mobile phone. Maybe we should start with that. I've already started. I was in Immigration in New York two years ago. I was in line for three hours, and I was standing up and sleeping. I had a book, because I couldn't look at my mobile phone anymore. I was reading and reading and reading and clicking, but that was fine. And this with a biohacking school for children. Okay, we have to be a little realistic. It will not happen with the first here in Norway that we get such a type of school. But if you know some teachers and you know someone in the school system, please share these thoughts. You are welcome to share the podcast, but in any case, the idea is to make some changes. For example, have sound healing on the timetable, have yoga, maybe yin, maybe some breathing techniques. try to protect our children from the ultra-processed food, maybe the schools actually have to step up and help so that there is a little better balance, so that our central nervous system can work in the way it should and not be so black and stressed all the time. We put show notes with all these different free links to Melissa, and then we end today with just saying Get Inspired! We remind you that you must speak to your own doctor or dietitian about diets and other questions related to medicines and supplements. Information we share cannot be used to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any diseases or conditions. Keen on a Norwegian holiday in a convertible? Huts with five people? Get a sofa? Roadtrip in Northern Norway? Camping with the gang? Jump from the Norwegian Board of Directors in Stupetårn? Move out of the city? Hiking in Sørlandet? Swing party in Sandefjord? Or Rømmelandet? With Getaround you can rent a car from your neighbour for an hour or more. Rent a car to what you want. Download the Getaround app today.